Where have I been? (For those who may care >.>)

For anybody who has wondered "Where has that devilishly handsome young Biggy gone too?" I currently don't have interwebz. Im on the internet at the local bookstore, and they close before the cast even begins every night, so sadly, I can't be around to massage all of you D:

Who the hell is Biggy?

I'm not sure. From what I have heard, he is some odd, mentally challenged child who watches Tom's casts like a religion. I hear he has been known to scream at his own mother for interrupting said casts. How strange.

Really cuz I heard from my homies down south that he eats pickles after his father takes a dump in the jar. Some say he has burns on his penis from fapping to much aswell

Nononono, I heard when he sings he cures cancer, when he faps the Earth itself jizzes, and when he rubs his tits he cures blind elephants.

I believe I also heard his penis is half robot which he needs to crank up so it he gets a boner, and when he dances the bolts come out and there is oil everywhere, also heard he eats the elephants after.

WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?

All of these rumors are true. You forgot one little detail though. Biggy is also god of semen.

sea men you mean, There is a tale for it, Biggy and the legend of Seamens.

I would quite love to hear the tale then o3o